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January 30, 2010

It burns...

When it rains, the world holds its breath,
Waiting for some possibility of magic,
I remember when such moments were spent,
When you and I drifted in and out of our sleep,
Waiting for them to pass, partly due to our conceit,
You and I had become a mockery to others,
But time heals everything you see,
Today, somehow in this sublime transcendence,
I realize, in some twisted way that I really deserve you, my love,
Your touch, your thoughts, it’s a contagious madness,
The sound of your breath, never failing to calm a storm,
Your breath on my skin, never failing to awaken that storm again.
It rains harder, and everything is falling apart around us,
We, insanely in love, smile at the destruction that surrounds,
If we died tonight, at least we would die alive,
It kills me how much I love you, how much I need you to stay alive,
As we stand here, watching the flames rise around us,
Gazing at the crumbling walls, enthralled by the beauty of destruction,
Feeling the heat, watching the amber glow,
Hearing the crackle of the fire, in spite of the white noise of the rain,
We smile,
There is a charm about dying in your own terms,
with the one you actually lived for,
Knowing that love cannot be destroyed with fire,
There is a charm about going insane together,
There is a certain beauty to burning,
Isn’t it?

January 8, 2010

The Joker

He had been staring at the mirror since the past 20 minutes. Every day at 7.30p.m, his act would begin. People loved him. He was a joker, you see. It was 6.45p.m. Time to put on his make-up. He had been doing this since the past 10 years with a large smile painted on his face. He sighed. Did anyone ever care whether he was actually happy doing this? He had faced a lot of problems in life, but he had to lock them up in a box and keep it in his dressing room for two hours. No matter how he felt, people wanted him to laugh, crack jokes and put up a good show. He was tired of this entire sham. He hated giving that fake smile. He fell into deep thought.

A mother doesn’t want to tell her children that the three jobs she is balancing aren’t enough to buy them food. She decides to sell herself.

A daughter doesn’t want to tell her parents that she is pregnant. So she laughs and smiles a lot until she gets the abortion done.

A husband doesn’t want to tell his wife that he has been fired. So he leaves every morning at office hours to look for a new job and comes home at the appropriate time.

Parents don’t want to tell their children about the death of their pet. So they lie about sending it to a beautiful farm.

He sighed and carefully painted the large smile on his face. As he walked out of his room and entered the ring, he saw his audience ------ mothers, daughters, husbands, parents, families. He realized, at some point of time, everyone lives a life of a clown. He was not different from anyone. He smiled at them and this time, it was genuine!

January 5, 2010

Putting my best foot forward!

“I’m standing on my building terrace. I’ve decided to kill myself. I don't know what gave me this idea. But I’ve decided. There is no reason to live anymore.”


“I’ve been let down in every walk of my life. No matter what I do, how hard I work, I never get what I deserve. No one ever understands me”

“I’ve lost the only best friend I’ve ever had. She was someone I can never forget, and I know there is nothing I can do to get her back. Maybe I didn’t take enough efforts to keep our friendship alive and now she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“I hate being at home. Why is there always yelling and screaming for some or the other reason. Just the thought of coming home everyday kills me inside.”

I’m at the end. One more step and I’ll be gone forever. This is it. Its gonna be easy. My final step to freedom. I begin to cry. Tears stream down my face. I close my eyes. And then, I see him. Someone who has supported me through thick and thin. Someone who has always been there for me, taken care of me. Someone who has loved me for who I really am and not asked for anything in return. I cry thinking about him. “I know it’s a very extreme step. But I don’t care anymore”. I remember the last time I saw him this very morning. He was trying his best to cheer me up. But I had ignored him, like I’ve ignored him all these years. I’ve been so selfish. I realise that I’ve always been loved. Funny, how I couldn’t get him out of my mind now. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for everything. I’m a little too tired. I think I’m gonna move now.”


January 1, 2010

When I'm angry, I cry!

I don't know why I do that all the time. When someone insults me or irritates me or hurts me, I have a lot to say. But before I try to speak, I tear up. It really bugs me. People tend to think I'm very weak and vulnerable which is not true. But no matter how much I try it always ends in the same way. I hate it when people think that its my weapon to get away with things. I feel like telling them, ignore the tears and listen to what I wanna say. Although it makes me feel relaxed and light in the head temporarily, I wish I could hit the pause button before I tear up. Damn you traitorous eyeballs!