RSS Feed (xml)

Powered By

Blogger Template From:
Free Blogger Skins

Powered by Blogger

April 30, 2010


"… those black high heels and the glitter jean jacket, that scarf with the weird ketchup stain on it and tie your hair exactly in the same way like you did on the day when we first held hands. Be there, I’ll be waiting…” His voice was heavy, and hurried like the wind. With an inch short of emotion he said again, “Be there.”

Silence…. and then the beep of the phone. He had called her from the local pay phone near the children orphanage, where he could hear the children sing about life, love and hope. It was 8.30.

He sat on the park bench which was damp with the recent downpour. His sneakers were wet. He carefully placed his wallet and his drum sticks on the bench and smiled at them.

10 pm came and so did she in those black high heels, glitter jean jacket and the hair tied in a half pony tail with bangs flying in the light breeze.

They lay in the grass in silence and counted the stars. She sang her last song to him. It was a sad song named “Goodbye” sung by a local band.

“Pick a star” she said, “name it Archelaus. It’ll be our star forever.”
He picked the first star he could see between the tree branches and named it Archelaus.

The grass was wet and cold. But their entwined hands were warm. They prayed for a miracle to happen. They prayed for their hands to magically fuse together. They prayed that this moment lasted forever. That didn’t happen.

He walked her to her lane. Her parents weren't fond of him. He was much older, long hair, tattoo, dark skinned..

He kissed her on her forehead, longer than he usually did and left her a note.
It read “I’ll love you, always..”

He walked back home alone and in silence.

This had been his routine for the past two years- Meeting her at 10 at the park. But she sang happier songs then. Songs about love…songs about hope…Songs about forever…They would hold hands. They wouldn’t be so restless. The kiss on the forehead would be shorter and he never left a note.So, this night was a little different.

He called her again the next day. “Be there. I’ll be waiting…”
But he didn’t hear the usual “uhummm” from the other end. Instead he heard, “Hey this is Carol. I’ve moved to Paris permanently. I know this was all so sudden. I'll miss you guys! Bye!”

He sat on the park bench. It was 11 pm. “You’re late”, he said and smiled to himself. 

He went back home and sat in his balcony. He looked up at the sky. His hair was salty with sweat, his face saltier with tears. With a hoarse voice, weighed down with pain, he sang to Archelaus. The wind blew harder and a few crumpled notes that he had practiced his handwriting on flew away from his hands. All of them read, “I’ll love you, always..”

April 25, 2010

I think.....I introspect.....I wish....

I sit awake at night...

Less on my bed, more in the place between the contradictory truths than sum me up...

And I really do, I do wish the world is a much better place,

I wish we all stop trying to fit into the places where we are born to stand out,

That we could for once accept ourselves before we expect this from others,

I wish we realize how much it means to be who we are today,

That our conscience is still very much a part of us, rather than just a nice sounding word,

I wish we are silent enough to hear the silence screaming its sermons to everyone,

That life is actually how it seems to be and isn’t existence in disguise,

And that love is a sanctum, a symphony of sanguinity,

That the rain washes away all the grey in loneliness,

That our souls were made of metal and it rusted if we broke a heart,

That music is life, and not a reason for living,

I wish life was more about contentment rather than competition,

I wish that scrapped knees could substitute torn beliefs,

I think….
I introspect…
I wish…

April 20, 2010

You are never too old...!

Dream……dream big! You are never too old to dream a new dream.
Isn’t that a beautiful statement?
But why do people belittle themselves so quickly?
When you see someone dancing or playing the guitar….
You picture yourself before a live audience…you want to be a star…
And then the voice in your head takes over….
You start to think….
“If I were young now, maybe I could learn to dance and play.”
But now that you are older… give that dream away…
You curse your childhood. You begin to repent…
You promise yourself with all solemnity,
“My child will (has to) achieve all this for me!” You are hell-bent!
Why can’t you just stop for a minute and think….introspect...
Wake up….you are not dead yet!
And believe it or not you can still learn now….achieve more that you expect…
How old is old..?? 20? 40? 80? Why the sudden necessity to be all grown up?
Get rid of that oldie in you…
Crack a dirty joke….blow some bubbles…
Steal cookies….get into trouble….
Splash in the rain….Be a li’l insane…
Who said you’re too old..??
Get that idea out of your head….
Dream your dream and go for it…..
Coz if you don’t, you’re already dead….

April 17, 2010


So close,
But yet so far,
My arms are outstretched,
The blinding light guides me,
Who knows where I'll be lead?
All I can do is anticipate, that the end of the path isn’t far,
I now hold on to every vacant smile,
I comfort myself with all the lies,
I have no fear.
Why should I?
The next moment is ambiguous.
Courageous, I move through the crowd,
Their vacant faces try to entice me, drain me,
Every change might be trouble in disguise,
The world is cold, but warmth can be found only in you, my love,
You are a constant star,
Immovable---like the sun,
The steadiness of your love is comfort,
The uncertainty of life isn’t,
The silver lining is all but blinding me from the dark clouds that have gathered,
The wind blows with all its might and rattles my bones,
But the flame withstands everything, it burns,
The day is cold,
And the night, stormy,
Hold my hand honey,
Sit with me till the storm passes,
The battle is more reassuring when you have a hand to hold on to,
The razor sharp blades being right behind me,
Bounce off as long as you are with me,
Together we surmount the unbeatable,
Together we move towards a reality we choose….

April 12, 2010


It was a late afternoon in 2006..I left my house to call you…

I really missed you…I love talking to you…

Why am I like this..? 
Why do I startle everyone…? 
Why do I offend ladies..?? 
Why do I alarm children…? 
Why do dogs bark at me whenever I pass by them..??

Why does everyone say that you do not exist….that you were never there…?

They tied me to a chair….poured cold water on my head….passed electricity through me…..

till I begged them to stop….
till I told them that you never existed…
till I promised to believe in their lies….

Why did they tell me that you haunted my mind….that you made my life miserable..?  You were the only one who gave my mind some stability…

When I came home, I saw the scarred reality that my life actually is. Why did your mending seem so fictional to them??

Without you, I don’t feel like myself. I feel worse than a cheap copy of myself.
So, I realized, if you can’t beat them, join them!
I put up an act, which worked better than I expected!

Now I tell everyone that you were just a fragment of my mind, I lie.

Now, I never look at myself in the mirror, our uncanny resemblance worries me. But I tell them I’m vain, I lie.

Now I am different to others. I make friends with little children. I smile at the women on the streets. I feed the dogs and pet them.  I am not me anymore.

I’m an illusion. But I wait for your calls though. I still believe in you, brother.  I still see you in my family photographs.

Waiting for you to show up some day, has made me a very light sleeper.

When you are here, I don’t pretend.
When you are here, my smile is genuine.
When you are here, reality finally starts feeling like reality again.

But they…..they will never perceive you like I do..
They will never understand… they won’t…

April 1, 2010


A sudden realization dawns on me,
My eyes are wide open, I start to see,
I see the truth, ornamented with razor sharp daggers,
Waiting to pierce my eyes, make me blind.
I was so mistaken, little did I see,
The world was never so sugar-coated as it had seemed to me,
Life is a circus, they say, full of phony clowns,
Putting on an act for you, but ever ready to pounce,
My eyes detest the reality that rests in front of me,
I yearn for the illusion I lived in, I wished this was a bad dream,
When my life was spiraling out of control,
I was falling into an abysmal void,
I reached out for help, I yelled and screamed,
They said they care for me, so they breathed down my neck,
They kept a watch on me; they noted what makes me tick,
They waited for me to weaken, and fall prey to their help,
Then planned to lock me behind my own scarred life, with the walls closing in brick by brick.
I was saved from the terrible plunge, by a noble savior,
An assassin they sent to take my life,
A savior ready to pull the trigger,
I look into his ever so gorgeously intense eyes,
He looks into mine and senses my fear,
His gaze softens,
And the lion falls in love with the lamb…..